Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
