Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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