I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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