I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
