They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
