The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
