i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it's like iHOP with fire
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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