so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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