Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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