So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
