the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
