Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
