I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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