R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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