drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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