SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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