3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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