did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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