She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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