New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
