grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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