so that wasnt chicken after all
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
