just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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