I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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