I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
