I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
