is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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