she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
