I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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