Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
