He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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