This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
