i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
