Dual....:-)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
