This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
