Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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