I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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