i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
