My brain says no but my pants say off.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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