I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
we made out on top of his cat.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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