Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
