He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
