What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
