How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
