Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
