Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
