what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
