i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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