My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just tell him i said nine months
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
