Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
