id be glad to
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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