Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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